On screen? HAHA

Appear on-screen audition? ME? you gotta be kidding me

Okay, this is weird. My sister, my 2nd sister asked me to go to an audition tomorrow. What type of audition? Singing audition? Dancing audition? To-become-an-actor audition? Cooking audition? Haha ---NOPE. To appear on screen for an Advertisement 'audition'. HAHAHA She read today's newspaper and then suddenly she asked me, I mean insist me on going to the audition haha. Funny tho because I always wanted to be in an adv espeacially Milo's adv, since I was a little girl. But HAH this is just freaking embarassing to tell the whole world this tiny secret of mine. Grr segan

But anyways, the audition starts tomorrow at hmm Bukit Jalil i think. and i don't think I'm going. But lets just see tomorrow, if my mom is willing to go there, Just for fun! haha, I don't really care about this thing. Its just funny. We ARE freaking bored sitting in the TV room everyday, watching television and eating and eating. So, why not, right? hihi Atleast they'll give money. haha, Dreamdream. -__-

But to enter, you have to speak Malay and English, not nervous and shy in front of the camera etc. I dont quite remember haha. But my sister says that, "Oh, this is so you! Not shy! haha" Grr Saba jelah kn? haha But lets just give it a try, shall we? hahaha this is kinda funny.

I somehow cant stop laughing, okay it's not funny. FIN

Confusion, no satisfaction

My emotions right now, are mixed together. Jumbled everything's up. I am 100% confused with everything. I feel like shit, and i came to a point where I can hardly trust anyone. Anyone.

Blame,
Everyone is putting the blame on me. As if, I am the one that's wrong. I am the one who started the chaos. I am the one who break everything's apart. Okay, fine. Put the blame on me. Mark everything as my weaknesses, mark everything as my flaws. Mark everything as my wrongs. i just dont simply care right now. there are lots of other things to think about rather than this waste-of-time issue. Fine, I am sorry. Let me be the one to apologize. Let me be the one to feel the guilt. I'll take everything. But just bare in mind that, you just can't escape from the truth. You can't cheat in life. No matter how genius you are, no matter how careful you are, you just cant. that's life. You can't cheat life.

You,
At first I thought, it's nice to meet you. But after everything that had happened. Just in a blink of an eye, everything started to change. The pretty flowers that always bloom in the morning, started to wilt. An innocent child that has a shiny and welcoming smile, started to dissapear. In other way, everything that started good, will somehow turn bad. Maybe it's just how it supposed to be. Maybe that's how it supposed to end up. Or maybe something gets in the line and spoiled things up. Maybe if we never met, the good things will never turn bad. But it's to late, we met. And somehow, I regret it fully.

Friend,
It's funny how some friends are there to share everything. To lend us their shoulder. To turn our day upside down. and even to crack up stupid jokes just to make one happy. But some friends are just there when you're happy. When you have what you need. Just to be famous. I hate people that used friends just to be famous. And used you fully just to fullfill their needs. And they never last long. Because one will finally found out about the truth behind every single lie. And I can't figure it out. I am confused. I can't different shape which one is the one. And I am just frustrated because she wasnt there when i need her. And this is when I finally can't different shape 'the one'.

I,
I talk rubbish sometimes. When I am mad. And sorry, I am doing it right now. This is because I am mad. When all emotions are jumbled up together, physically or chemically or even mentally, you will end up being mad. Idk why. So don't ask me why. And when you are mad, you feel like crying. But you don't want to show the world your tears. Because you are ashame. You are ashame that people will laugh at you for being silly, crying without reasons. And they will automatically think you are crazy. and you never wanted people to think you are crazy. and that's why you hide your feelings. You decided not to cry. And show the world ----- well, *blank* NOTHING.

Confused,
And that's why everyone is this world, is living in confusion. They don't understand each other. Because nobody are brave enough to show their true feelings. And this is why, we sometimes regret things. Because we didn't show how we feel and just fake everythings up. Sorry, you don't understand. I confused you. Sorry

Kasut Bomba Alert !

I just bought a Red-Setan(with the capital S)-in-colour heels. And the funny thing is, my mom kept saying,

'OMG Ara! Are you wearing the fireman's shoe or what?! Kasut bomba?!'

Haha, I can just manage to laugh.

P/S : I am kind of busy lately. With -- Everything. I know my blog bores you guys out, sorry. I'll try my best after the 'Big day'. Till then, byebye

Xo, Me

A New Class Of Terror

TORMENTED

A New Class Of Terror

Ohmagod ! I've waited for you patiently for 1 whole entire year ! Yeay finally you turn up. Haha, oka I am soo last year -.- But what the heck even though this movie was out in UK for like, 3 months ago, in Malaysia dah ke huh ? I don't know -.- lol.

Anyways, I would love to watch this movie, please mummy ? Please buy for me a CD of this, I don't even care if it's a pirated cd or what, just make sure it's clear and not directly from the cinema, and ofcourse 'it' speaks English (not like my Madagascar 2 cd which my sis baught in Indonesia, 'it' talks in --- Spanish ? Ahhh something like that daaa) Okayy, a bit demanding -.- Whtevv.

Back on track, this is a comedy and horror movie. Gosh I hate horror movie but Alex P is in it, so YEAY I LOVE HORROR MOVIE ! *does that sounds right? Why all of a sudden ?

The more I see this poster, the more I think, "Is he gay? " Haha, gah just joking. He is hot hot heat. My goodness, I am melting ouch

Okay okay, i realize I'm talking non-sense right now, so I'll stop babbling immediately. NOW !



Somehow, he looks like a jerk in this movie. But I believe he's not it the real world. It isss a movie, people act duhh -.-

♥ you forever Alex Pettyfer HAHA

It's a history, let's move on

Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult

It is over. Finally over. Officially over. Even though I sincerely don't want it to be, but it is definitely over.

The day before today, I was being such a jerk, holding you tight in my arms and not letting you go. I knew from the beginning you will always stay with her but somewhere in my mind said, 'Do not give up' . I always thought you'll change your mind and choose different path of life, so I waited patiently. I was evil and selfish, never think of others. I look like an absolute dumb-ass waiting for you but you never showed up. It was heart breaking but I insist waiting.

And today, I realized everything was just a waste of time. I woke myself up and finally entered a place called the reality world. I knew, deep down inside, something was not right, and all of a sudden, I knew the answer to my question. I was falling for the wrong guy. The guy that is happy with his partner, i tried to break. I blamed my self for everything that had done.

But finally, i realize it's not all my fault. I can't let my self down just because of this stupid crush. I tried to be strong but water filled my eyes, I finally planted a smile on my face and force myself to think positively. Life must move on, so move on. Let it be a painful history, that will guide your way to the happiness of life.

I cried when I knew I lost you, afraid I had lost it all.
Then I realized that losing you, didn't have to mean I lost me.

♥ Good Bye forever J, with broken heart

Limited oxygen, Black-out

My eldest sister passed out when everything started to become unreal. In other way, Unbelievable and shocking. This type of incident rarely occur in our lives. My parents were trembling with fear and quickly carried her into the car.Wa, Aty and I quickly went upstairs and packed her clothes, in case she is admited to the hospital. I was getting harder and harder to breathe, but I thought maybe I was just panic. My dad was in the car, and Wa followed them to accompany Ima. My mom asked me, "Are you okay Arra?" and I just nodded my head and there they go, leaving Aty, my maid and I alone. So, we locked the door.

It was dinner time at that moment. Everyone was quiet. But at the same time, I was shaking. My chest hurt a little bit and I started to have a hard time to breathe. I inhaled the atmosphere's air but there just limited air went in. I was trembling. The food just didn't interest me like always, and I felt like vomiting. I was shaking, and Aty asked are you okay? I can barely answer her. With just a second, my skin turned so pale as white paper, and my body was as cold as clay. I never felt this way. Breathing was getting harder and all of a sudden, I Black - Out -------------

I realized when my maid was crying my name all over again. And I can hear Aty's voice from the distance, talking on the phone with my mother. Unsurprisingly, she was crying along. I opened my eyes and I saw that I was so pale that I can see my blood purple in color, I tried to breathe because I am not ready for this kind of stuff. Everyone is not ready. Then, my maid and Aty carried me to the Tv room. I drank plain water and put my legs on the ground. My body was shaking and numb. I can barely feel anything. Aty gave me Ima's inhaler and asked me to try and use it. I do not know how does it work. I have no idea how to use it. My first try wasn't good enough. I used it incorrectly, but the second time, I have no idea if I did it correctly or not. I inhaled 3 times but everything felt just the same. I am lack of oxygen.

Thank god my parents arrived and quickly drove me to a nearby clinic. My sister thought it was Asthma, I know nothing. I tried to breathe even though there's limited air. As we reached there, we went to see the doctor asap - as Emergency. The doctor checked me and said I wasn't Asthma, it's just stress. You think a lot and that makes you can't breathe. And my body temperature was 38 deg. Celsius . I had a fever too. I look down, and saw my leg from brown to pale white and with blue / purple-ish nail. It somehow looks like corpse's toe, not mine. The doc didn't even give me any pills to take. My mom just couldn't accept it. So, the next day, she took Ima, Wa and I to SMC (Shah Alam Medical Centre)

There, Ima was supposed to admit to the hospital but there wasn't enough bed. So, they just took her blood to make blood test and urine test. On the other hand, I wasn't feeling well either. The doc said that the acid had reach to my throat and blocked my breathing way. That's why I can't breathe. She gave me some medicines and finally my mom and I felt a bit realive. At least there's something to cure me up. Not just leaving me alone without drugs. It's just doesn't seems right. I ate bread so that I can eliminate the gas that is trapped in my stomach and fill it with something good, something like food.

Nowadays, I tried to breathe normally and I just pray to God that everything will be fine. I never in my whole life want to walk through this traumatic experience again. And I hope that our family's health will be fine and stay in good condition. I am recovering from everything. And now, I think less, smile more :) This little things may cure me up.